I believe that throughout the semester, I was able to strengthen my ability to peer review. With my chosen peer’s paper, I was able to give some helpful advice in order for them to strengthen their own essay. For example, looking at comment 1, I gave a suggestion about their thesis statement. Originally, their thesis statement was not really talking about their own views or opinions. They discussed Yo-Yo Ma and what he believed. I suggested that for their last sentence of their introduction to include a thesis statement which describes what they wanted to argue about throughout their essay. I think this was helpful because it allowed them to think about what they were arguing about in their essay and to put it together in one complete sentence. I also strived to push them to include their opinion instead of just relying on their sources such as Yo-Yo Ma. Looking at comment 3 and 9, I tried to help them elaborate more on how the quote relates to their own argument and opinion. These examples relate more to a global revision. Looking at comment 6, I gave a suggestion about a local revision. They had a sentence that sounded long and interrupted the flow of the essay.
https://ngosselin1.uneportfolio.org/eng-110/marked-first-draft-of-peers-paper/
