When revising my rough draft, I found peer review extremely beneficial. Reading what my peers commented about my paper allowed me to have a clear way to see how I could improve my essay. These comments allow me to get another opinion on my work, and to catch any mistakes that I may have not noticed.
With the first essay I wrote, my peers comments were helpful in order for me to compose a well written essay. While revising, I tried to focus on what my own argument and opinion was, and I stuck with it throughout my essay. I tried not to rely on my sources as much, but use them only when I felt as if they supported or enhanced my main point. After each essay, I feel like I overcame this struggle.
Before: “He states, “By and large, the representation of black people and the history of Western painting is enslaved, in servitude or impoverished…They’re hidden. They are in the shadows. And so what we have are these representations of black people that don’t reflect their humanity.” This quote demonstrates Kaphar’s views toward how art history does not represent African Americans as much as those who are white.” (1-2)
Link to my first draft:https://ngosselin1.uneportfolio.org/eng-110/first-draft-of-significant-writing-project/
After: “Kaphar explains his argument further by stating, “By and large, the representation of black people and the history of Western painting is enslaved, in servitude or impoverished…They’re hidden. They are in the shadows, and so what we have are these representations of black people that don’t reflect their humanity.” (4:12). This quote demonstrates Kaphar’s views toward how art history does not represent African Americans as much as those who are white.” (1-2)
Link to my final draft:https://ngosselin1.uneportfolio.org/eng-110/final-draft-of-significant-writing-project/
After reviewing my peers comment, I realized that I should introduce my quote in a way that flows easier. This allowed me to learn how to form a quote sandwich in an effective way. However, looking back I notice that I focused more on Kaphar’s opinion and views instead of my own.
Writing down the techniques that I have used for revision strategies helped me understand what worked for me and what didn’t.
https://ngosselin1.uneportfolio.org/2018/04/23/blog-16/
Throughout this semester, I began to approach writing as a recursive writing process. I would look at my essay as a whole for global revisions, not just local revisions. I remember my first peer review where I only gave local feedback. However, once I began to engage in the overall writing process, I also viewed the essays big picture and gradually learned how to give global feedback. As Nancy Sommers states, “The writers ask: what does my essay as a whole need for form, balance, rhythm, or communication.” I believe that as I grew as a writer, I began to look at my essay in a new light. I looked at it as a whole, and looked at my organization, content, and evidence. These pieces all put together correctly form a very well written essay.
