My main objective or goal is to make my opinion about art to be more clear and more prevalent within my essay. Including my opinion will allow me to strengthen my claim and let the readers see my point of view. A recurring theme with my peers was that my opinion was mostly only stated in the introduction and seemed to get lost throughout the paper.
The first step I will take is to read what my peer’s said about my paper, and see how they suggest I include my opinion. Reading what my peers thought is a very good resource since they are another set of eyes and an outside source.
The second step I will take is to re-read my own essay, and find some places where I feel strongly and where my voice could be heard. This could either be about a quote, or something that Southern or Kaphar believe. This would be a great opportunity to include my voice within my paper. I believe that this step may be challenging, because I may not know where my opinion may fall or where I should include it.
If I am not able to form an opinion, then my third step would be to look at Southan’s text and watch the TED talk again. I will grab a blank piece of paper and jot down some of their main points. I have already included many of their opinions and what “they say” in my essay, but maybe re-reading and re-watching will also me to grasp their views even more. Doing so will allow me to form my own opinions or what “I say”, and this would be beneficial to include throughout my paper. “They say, I say” will also be a good resource as well because it will allow me form what “I say” clearly and effectively. I think that I included what “They say”, Southan and Kaphar, in my essay pretty well, but reading this text will give me some techniques that I could use to represent my own voice within my paper.
Great work. I love that you consider our textbooks as resources. Keep up the good work. 3/3